


Motions

by itsnotgillian



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Fluff, M/M, and chan...he's just chan, but very minimal, soonyoung is a big dork with an even bigger crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:56:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6738967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnotgillian/pseuds/itsnotgillian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They dance, they fall in love. </p><p>But it's not that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. all i want is you.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm a dancer, but this is the first time i'm writing about dance. weird.
> 
> ah yes, my most awaited multi-chaptered fic. i have most of it thought out, but knowing myself, i'm probably gonna add and remove whole chunks of the plot along the way. if i'm being honest with you all, this could either end up in two or ten parts. go, me!
> 
> also, soonchan. not my otp, but there's a degree of closeness you have with someone who you spend countless of hours dancing with. trust me, i know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three times Soonyoung wants to die because of Chan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've linked videos at the end notes and those are just choreographies that inspired the dance sequences on this chapter. the songs are still the same, though.

Soonyoung doesn’t know when it started, doesn’t even know how, but if there’s one thing he knows, it’s that he’s in love with Lee Chan.

Maybe something changed in between the countless hours of training and the motion of their bodies side by side, accompanied by the ever-familiar bass pumping through the speakers. Maybe it’s the way Chan moved, precise and fluid, strong yet graceful, that left Soonyoung in awe every time he watched the younger one dance. Maybe it’s just Chan himself, the happy, energetic boy that wanted nothing more than to perform. 

This is all Soonyoung has: the maybes. 

And Soonyoung’s best friends are sick of hearing the word ‘maybe’.

“Oh my god, Soonyoung, if you like him _that_ much, then go ask him out.” Seokmin unceremoniously drops his tray on the table, his plate clattering against the plastic. 

Soonyoung slips quietly into his seat, his own lunch laid out in front of him.

“It’s not that easy.” Soonyoung shakes his head, already digging into his food. 

“What do you mean, ‘ _It’s_ _not_ _that_ _easy’_? This isn’t middle school anymore. Asking someone out shouldn’t be that big of a deal.”

“It is, if I really like the person, and in case you haven’t noticed, I like Chan a whole fucking lot.”

Seungkwan, who was merely listening up to this point, steps in. 

“He’s right, you know.” 

Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “ _Of_ _course_ , he’s right.”

“Exactly!” Seokmin exclaims. “So, grow a pair and just ask him out.”

“That’s a very sexist thing to say, Seokmin.” 

Seokmin points his chopsticks at Soonyoung. “You know what I mean.” 

“You have rehearsals later for the spring festival, right? That might be a good time to drop the bomb on him.” Seungkwan supplies, absently picking at his kimbap.

“I’m not dropping any bombs, Seungkwan. Stop making everything sound so dramatic,” Soonyoung complains.

“Get used to it. I’m the fucking epitome of dramatic,” Seungkwan scoffs, taking a bite out of his food.

“You know what,” Seokmin starts. “We won’t even bother with helping you anymore. Do whatever you want to do. Bask in your misery. Cry yourself to sleep, we don’t care.”

Soonyoung musters up the fakest smile he could.

“Thanks, guys. I appreciate the concern.”

 

~

 

Soonyoung opens the door to the dance room, and he’s immediately greeted with his crew’s chatter. 

“Hey, hyung.”

Soonyoung’s heart skips a beat when he sees Chan bounding towards him like an excited puppy, and Soonyoung knows damn well that he has it real bad for this boy.

“Hey yourself, Chan.” Soonyoung smiles as he reaches over to ruffle Chan’s hair. Chan just laughs and playfully swats Soonyoung’s hand away.

“We just finished warm-up. We should review the steps you taught us yesterday so we can move on to blocking.”

“Ah, so responsible. Would you mind replacing me as captain?” Soonyoung gently elbows Chan’s side.

Chan shakes his head. “I could never.”

“Can the two of you please stop flirting so we can practice?” Junhui pipes up from where he was stretching, giving Soonyoung a pointed look through the mirror. Soonyoung glances over at Chan to gauge the younger one’s reaction, but Junhui’s comment seemed to have flown right over his head. Soonyoung doesn’t know if he should be relieved or disappointed. 

“Okay,” Soonyoung calls out. “Let’s take it from the top. 5, 6, 7, 8!” 

 

~

 

“See you tomorrow, hyung.” Hansol gives Soonyoung’s back a light pat before heading towards the door, his backpack slung over one shoulder. Soonyoung calls out his own farewell as he watches Hansol disappear through the doorway.

“Hey, hyung, do you wanna practice a bit more? I don’t really feel like going home just yet.”

Chan is standing there, still sweaty from practice, his dark hair sticking to his forehead. Soonyoung wants to brush them away, wants Chan’s face clear so he can admire the entirety of it. Soonyoung stops himself before he could do just that.

“Alright,” Soonyoung says. “Do you remember that dance duet we did for last year’s winter festival?” 

Chan grins and Soonyoung’s sure he could feel his insides giving in. “How could I forget? I got to share that stage with the one and only Kwon Soonyoung.”

Soonyoung wants to double over and die. 

“Do you want to…?” Soonyoung doesn’t even have to finish, because Chan’s already nodding, his hand reaching over for Soonyoung’s phone that was still connected to the speakers. Soonyoung peeks over Chan’s shoulder as Chan scrolls through Soonyoung’s music library for a bit before he spots that one song he was looking for. 

The intro plays followed by the first few beats, the jazzy sound echoing around them. Chan gives Soonyoung one final smile before he’s running over to the center of the room, Soonyoung not too far behind. 

They stand there momentarily, waiting for that one part, as they let the music find its way under their skin. 

They start to move, completely in-sync, and Soonyoung lets the music envelope him, every hit, every groove of his hips matching up with Chan’s perfectly. He watches the two of them through the mirror and Soonyoung’s heart starts to race. (And it’s not from the dancing, either.)

As the song progresses, Soonyoung notices that Chan’s watching, too. The younger’s eyes are focused on him and Soonyoung smiles at him through the mirror. Chan’s tongue darts out briefly to wet his lips before he returns the action. 

Soonyoung _definitely_ wants to die. 

They stop dancing as they reach the end of their choreography, and they’re left breathless once more, chests heaving and little puffs of air escaping through their parted lips. 

Soonyoung catches Chan’s eye through the mirror a second time, and Soonyoung chuckles.

“I can't believe you remember the choreo _perfectly_ , as if we just performed it yesterday.”

Chan laughs, resting his hands on his hips, his head bowing down for a moment. “I still dance it from time to time. It’s one of my favorite routines, you know.”

“Really? Why?” Soonyoung’s walks over to the speaker set, pulling the chord from his phone. He checks the time and sees that it’s already five-thirty in the afternoon. They’re going to get an earful from the janitor if they don’t leave soon. 

“I don’t know. Maybe because it’s something we share? Like it’s our own routine and it’s something between us?” Chan offers. He’s standing right next to Soonyoung now, and Soonyoung catches how close they actually are. 

“That’s so sweet, Channie,” Soonyoung teases, reaching up to finally, _finally_ sweep the strands of hair away from Chan’s face.

“I just realized how insanely sappy that sounded.” Chan visibly cringes at his words and Soonyoung can’t help but laugh.

“That’s okay, I like sappy.” 

Soonyoung realizes what he just said and he’s 100% sure Chan’s about to question it, but the younger one just smiles.

“The same way you like me?” Chan asks. He’s giving Soonyoung this look and Soonyoung swallows, throat suddenly dry.

“I—“

“I’m just messing with you, hyung.” Chan giggles and for the third time, Soonyoung wants to drop dead. _Goddammit, Lee Chan._ “I’ll leave now. My mom might kill me if I stay out any later.” 

 _And I might kill myself if you behave any cuter._  

“Alright, take care.” Soonyoung gives Chan’s shoulder a pat before the latter bounds off towards the door.

“Oh god, what am I doing?” Soonyoung mutters to himself after he’s left all alone.

 

* * *

  

“So, did you do it?” Seokmin asks, his mouth filled with his lunch. Seungkwan hits him on the shoulder and tells him to chew with his mouth closed. 

“Do what?” Soonyoung plops down on his seat, distracted by the steaming bowl of fried rice in front of him. His fourth period pre-calc did nothing but starve the living hell out of him.

“Did you ask Chan out?” Seokmin clarifies, and this time his mouth is void of any noodles. Soonyoung shoots him a glare. 

“No, and I’m not planning to,” Soonyoung informs him. He breaks his chopsticks in half and starts to dig into his lunch.

“Why the hell not?” Seungkwan raises an eyebrow at Soonyoung.

“Because I don’t want it to be weird between us. The kid practically looks up to me, and I don’t want to ruin that by confessing to him.” 

Seokmin reaches over to pick at Soonyoung’s rice. “What if he likes you back?” Soonyoung swats Seokmin’s hand away, an irritated look on his face. 

“What if he doesn’t?” 

“You’re impossible, Kwon Soonyoung.” Seungkwan declares, shaking his head. 

“Always have been,” Soonyoung agrees.

 

~

 

Soonyoung’s just about ready to go home, his bag heavy with the shitton of homework he has to do. He’s heading towards the exit when he happens to pass by Chan. Or, more precisely, Chan passes by him. He seems to be in a hurry. 

“Hey, Chan!” Soonyoung calls after him. Chan skids to a stop and turns around, his face immediately lighting up once he sees Soonyoung. 

“Hyung!” Chan runs toward Soonyoung, and Soonyoung can sense that he’s excited over something. He can see it in the way Chan’s eyes seem to be glinting. 

“Where you heading to?” Soonyoung tries to be casual, tries to not make his crush so obvious in the middle of a busy hallway. Soonyoung realizes a second later that no one probably cares, anyway, but he’s not taking any chances. 

“The dance room.” 

Soonyoung raises an eyebrow at that. “The dance room? But we don’t have any practice today.”

“I know. But, I was watching choreography videos on Youtube last night and I saw this one video and the music they used was _so_ good, I wanted to try and make my own routine with it.”

Forget excited, this boy was practically bouncing on his feet.

“Oh?” was all Soonyoung could say.

“And I, uh—I was actually looking for you earlier, but I didn’t know where to find you. Senior classes are all the way across from sophomore ones and I really didn’t have the time to walk that far…” Chan’s scratches at the back of his neck, looking like an embarrassed little puppy and Soonyoung tries to stop himself from squealing out loud. 

“I wanted you to come with me and like, maybe help me? Only if you’re not busy, though.” 

_Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. Yes, Lee Chan. Yes._

“Sure, why not?” Soonyoung shrugs, ignoring the dead weight of his backpack further pressing down on his shoulders and reminding him of the three tests he has to study for.

“Really?”

Soonyoung nods, smiling. “Yeah, come on. We should get there before some random club decides to use it.”

 

~ 

 

They get to the dance room and, thankfully, it’s empty. Soonyoung sets his bag down, rolling his shoulders in an attempt to relive some of its previous aching. He watches Chan set the speakers up, and it doesn’t take long before music is bouncing off the walls.

Soonyoung recognizes the song, remembers it as one of his favorites and he can’t help the butterflies that erupt in his stomach at the thought of Chan dancing to one of his favorite songs. 

Chan is standing in the middle of the room, moving his body along to the beat. He catches Soonyoung staring and he smiles.

“I’ll show you what I’ve come up with so far.” 

Soonyoung nods, eyes never leaving Chan. He lets the first chorus pass, but when the second verse comes in, Chan starts to move. His motions are technical, all hard stops and sharp points, but it goes well with the vibe of the song, and Soonyoung stares in amazement. Chan’s a good dancer, Soonyoung knows that, but to see him do his own thing, dance his own choreography, was something Soonyoung has never seen before. 

A few moments later, Soonyoung’s still so mesmerized, that he doesn’t even notice Chan already stopped dancing. 

“So? How was it?” Chan looks to Soonyoung and Soonyoung has to blink a few times to get himself back to reality. 

“That was—that was great! Really, Chan, it was.” Soonyoung’s at a loss for words. “I don’t even know what to say.” 

Chan blushes, he _blushes_ and Soonyoung can feel his own neck burning. 

“You don’t have to gas me up _that_ much, hyung.”

“No, I swear, that was something I would never expect from a sophomore like you. It was just so… _clean_ and precise, and oh god, Chan, I swear if you’re not captain after I graduate, I will kill you.”

Chan laughs, loud and mingling with the still-playing music. Soonyoung reaches over for Chan’s phone next to the speakers so he could pause the song. The room falls silent, and all that’s left is Chan’s smile still splayed out on his face.

“You’re too much, hyung, you’re too much.” Chan shakes his head, but he’s laughing again. 

“I get that a lot,” Soonyoung agrees. He stands next to Chan, the two of them facing the mirror now. “Good thing you chose one of my favorite songs. I practically have it memorized by now.”

“Oh, really?” Chan has those excited puppy eyes again. 

“Yep.” Soonyoung casts a sideway glance at Chan. “What was that last step you did?”

Chan shuffles around for a bit before he executes the move. Soonyoung studies him, his choreographer-wired mind starting up. 

“Alright. After that I think we should do this…”

Soonyoung starts to add in more steps to Chan’s routine, and before they knew it, they’ve already had a whole minute of the song covered. ( _‘Any dancer would know that that’s some serious progress right there,’_ Soonyoung had declared.)

They ran the steps over and over again until the routine was practically ingrained in both of their minds. And once again, Soonyoung finds himself focusing on Chan, on the way his hips would swing, the way his chest would pump just in time to the beat. Soonyoung holds on to these images, holds on to the feeling of sharing the floor with Chan.

After what seemed to be the nth run, Chan moves to sit on the floor, his legs open wide, and his head thrown back as he tries to catch his breath. Soonyoung eyes Chan’s neck, long and shiny with sweat, and he has to look away before his cheeks start turning red. (Too late, though, they already are.)

Soonyoung clears his throat before speaking.

“Do you think we should perform this at the spring festival as well?” 

Chan looks at Soonyoung, and Soonyoung thinks he looks absolutely glorious with his face all sweaty. Not that Soonyoung would ever admit that out loud.

“Can we?”

“We can.” 

“But, we only have a fixed performance time.”

Soonyoung shrugs. “I’m pretty sure I can pull some strings with the organizers.” 

Chan stands up so he’s face to face with Soonyoung. Soonyoung notes their height difference, and he realizes that Chan’s the perfect height for Soonyoung to give him forehead kisses.

Soonyoung wants to punch himself. 

“Really? You would do that?” Chan looks so surprised and Soonyoung just wants to pat his cheeks and tell him that, yes, he would do anything for him. Anything.

“Of course. I don’t want to put such good choreography to waste.”

Chan crosses his arms. “You know, you’re practically complimenting yourself, as well. I mean, half of the choreo is yours.”

Soonyoung winks. “I know.”

Chan laughs, but suddenly, he’s moving forward to hug Soonyoung. He barely has time to open up his arms to let Chan into them.

“Thanks, hyung.” Chan says it right next to Soonyoung’s ear and Soonyoung has this urge to scream like a little schoolgirl.

Chan pulls away just enough so that they still have their arms loosely around each other. 

“It’s nothing,” Soonyoung says. Soonyoung can see the way Chan’s hair flutters at his breath and he realizes that they’re practically close enough to kiss and— _holy shit_ —Soonyoung doesn’t know what to do. 

“I always knew you had potential.” Soonyoung doesn’t know where that came from, but he feels like it’s the right thing to say.

More so now, because Soonyoung’s leaning in—slowly—and Chan seems to be frozen, rooted to his spot on the floor, but a moment later he’s stepping backwards, straight out of Soonyoung’s arms, and Soonyoung already knows he messed up.

“I-I have to go.” Chan’s expression was unreadable as he collects his things, and Soonyoung feels his heart sink down into the depths of hell.

“Thanks again, hyung.” Chan manages a small smile before he runs, literally _runs_ out of the dance room, leaving Soonyoung to deal with his current state of panic alone. 

“Holy shit, what did I just do?” Soonyoung says out loud and he feels stupid for talking to himself, but he currently has no one else and he feels like he’ll explode if he doesn’t let it out.

Soonyoung grabs his bag and dashes out of the door with his phone in hand. He dials Seokmin’s number. 

“Hello? Seokmin? Yeah, I think I might have scarred Chan for the rest of his life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sequence 1](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36HIarPcu98), [sequence 2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLnuk86Zgcs)


	2. the third law.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soonyoung pushes, and Chan pulls.
> 
> (Things get a bit, er, heavier in this chapter)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please never allow me to write while drunk ever again
> 
> (don't worry, i edited this sober)

“What am I going to _do_?”

It’s lunch period and Soonyoung has spent about half of it wailing and whining about Chan, the heels of his palms pressed into his eyes. Seokmin looks like he wants to clock Soonyoung over the head for being so annoying, but Seungkwan eyes Seokmin warningly, and the latter just rolls his eyes, but nonetheless keeps his cool.

“You could always apologize,” Seokmin offers.

“He doesn’t have to apologize for his feelings,” Seungkwan says matter-of-factly.

“He could apologize for his actions.”

Seungkwan scoffs. “Not even that. He only tried to see if Chan returned his affections. He made a move, he got rejected. He shouldn’t be the only one saying sorry.”

“Why would Chan say sorry? He doesn’t owe Soonyoung anything.” Seokmin raises an eyebrow before taking a bite out of his lunch. 

Seungkwan moves to hit Seokmin on the shoulder, and the latter yelps around a mouthful of food. 

“He could at least say, ‘ _Sorry_ , I don’t feel the same way.’”. 

Seokmin splutters a bit more before bringing his attention to Soonyoung. 

“Did Chan even say anything?” Seokmin asks.

“Nothing. He just left. _God_ , he just left. That’s, like, the ultimate act of rejection.” Soonyoung rubs at his face, and when he finally looks up, his eyes are red-rimmed and his whole face resembles that of a puffer fish. 

Both Seungkwan and Seokmin drop their chopsticks on the table.

“Have you been _crying_?”

“Soonyoung, he’s _a kid_. You shouldn’t be crying over him.” 

Soonyoung wants to punch both of them in the face.

“Can you _please_ shut up for, like, five seconds?” Soonyoung snaps. Seungkwan looks slightly offended and Seokmin’s mouth is hanging open. 

Soonyoung can feel the tears welling up in his eyes again as he chokes out a weak, “So what if I’ve been crying?”

Soonyoung rubs at his eyes and he realizes that his food is still left untouched. He doesn’t feel like eating. He doesn’t feel like going to class. He doesn’t feel like doing anything, in all honesty. He just wants to go straight to the dance room and dance his worries away, but even then, the mirrored walls and shiny wooden floor would only remind him of Chan, and he’s the last person Soonyoung wants to be reminded about.

“You should go talk to him.” Seungkwan’s voice is clipped and his tone is serious. _‘Great,’_ Soonyoung thinks. ‘ _Now my friends are pissed at me.’_

“What if that only makes it worse? What if he doesn’t want to talk about it? What if he never wants to talk to me _at_ _all_?" 

“Well, _you_ obviously want to talk about it.” Seokmin points his chopsticks accusingly at Soonyoung. “So just fucking do it.”

 

~

 

Soonyoung takes a deep breath as he tries to steady his heartbeat. His palms feel gross from sweating so much, and he nearly drops his phone in his haste to open the dance room door.

Everyone’s there; Minghao, Hansol, Junhui, and of course, Chan. They all turn to greet him, even Chan, who offers Soonyoung the smallest of smiles. But he doesn’t walk up to Soonyoung like he usually does; he just stays there, head bowed low as he continues to stretch. 

That’s when Soonyoung knows that Chan has acknowledged that there’s something wrong between the two of them. Well, not something _wrong_ , just something; something big and awkward and Soonyoung is fully aware that he was the one who put it there.

“Alright.” Soonyoung’s voice is loud inside the studio. He hooks up his phone onto the speakers, his finger hovering over the ‘play’ button. “Let’s run everything from the top.” 

Everyone wordlessly gets into position and Soonyoung stares hard at Chan, trying to get him to look up, but Chan doesn’t budge. His expression is stony; similar, but not at all the same with the face he makes when dancing. This one is completely void of emotion, as if Chan is trying to hold something in. 

Soonyoung has never seen Chan like this and a mixture of worry and anger (directed completely at himself) eats away at Soonyoung’s insides.

The rest of practice goes by as it usually does. They run through the dance several times and Soonyoung makes adjustments here and there, cracking jokes every once in a while, but his smile could never mask the flurry of emotions in his chest. Soonyoung notices that Chan isn’t completely in it; his movements are still precise, still perfect, but Soonyoung fails to see the enthusiasm that Chan had previously possessed. If anyone else in the room notices, they don’t say a word about it. 

An hour passes, and then another, and Soonyoung decides that’s enough for today.

“Good job, everyone.” Soonyoung claps his hands as he always does after every practice, and everyone joins in. Again, Chan doesn’t seem to be feeling it. “Get some rest. I scheduled another four hours for us tomorrow. Be here by eight.” 

“Eight A.M. on a Saturday,” Hansol says in disbelief. “You’re working us to the ground, hyung.”

Soonyoung smiles. “Don’t I always?” Everyone else grumbles in agreement. 

Soonyoung spots Chan drinking from his water bottle and he seizes the opportunity to approach him. His steps are stiff and feel all-too robotic, but it brings him next to Chan, and it’s only a matter of seconds before the younger turns his way. Chan looks startled, and Soonyoung would be, too, if the guy who tried to kiss him just a day before walked right up to him as if nothing happened. 

Soonyoung is surprised to see that the studio is now completely empty. He turns back and Chan is looking at him unsurely, his teeth worrying at his bottom lip.

“I need to talk to you.” 

“Hyung, we should talk.” 

They both blink, having said things at the same time, and under different circumstances, they might’ve even laughed, but right now, the air is too heavy and thick with tension for neither of them to even consider it.

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung begins. “I’m sorry I tried to kiss you. I should have at least _asked_ if it was alright with you.” 

“I don’t think you would’ve gotten an answer out of me if you asked.” Chan fidgets with the hem of his shirt, his fingers twisting up the fabric into knots. 

“I understand if you hate me now.” Soonyoung’s voice is almost a whisper and he can feel the familiar sting of tears in his eyes. He swallows hard. Crying in front of Chan would only add to the embarrassment he’s feeling.

“No.” Chan looks straight at Soonyoung, his gaze boring into Soonyoung’s eyes, and Soonyoung can see the faintest hint of uncertainty in Chan’s face. “I could never hate you.” 

Chan doesn’t stop there. “I like you, hyung, I really do. I just don’t know how _much_ I like you. And if I like you enough to let you kiss me.” Chan frowns. “Does that make any sense?” 

“Not really,” Soonyoung answers without thinking, because it really doesn’t make any sense. To him, at least. 

“I thought so.” Chan sighs, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Okay, how about this,” Chan says. “I don’t hate you.” Chan spreads his arms as if he’s proposing a business deal. “Let’s leave it at that.”

Soonyoung could only nod, too confused to speak.

“We’re still friends, don’t worry.” Chan smiles up at Soonyoung, actually smiles, and Soonyoung is further stunned into silence.

“Say something?” Chan looks worried, and Soonyoung realizes that he hasn’t spoken a word since Chan declared that he doesn’t hate Soonyoung.

“Sorry.” Soonyoung scratches the back of his neck. “I-I’m glad we’re still friends. And I’m sorry again.”

Chan nods. “It’s okay. It’s just…I’m not ready.”

“For what?”

“Everything.”

Both of them are silent after that. Soonyoung studies Chan’s face, and Chan seems to be doing the same. They stay like that for maybe a whole minute, before Chan looks away.

Soonyoung takes a deep breath. “Do you want to practice our routine?”

Chan peeks at Soonyoung’s face and for the first time, Chan looks his age, and it hits Soonyoung that he fucked up big time. He tried to kiss this clueless sophomore, scaring and confusing him by doing so, and Soonyoung is ashamed that he even had the audacity to cry over being rejected. If anyone needs to be crying, it should be Chan. 

“Sure,” Chan answers. He stands up and waits for Soonyoung to play the song. 

They watch each other through the mirror, as if they’re opponents in a game, carefully studying the other, while they both move with calculated steps. It sets Soonyoung on edge, makes him nervous for something he has no knowledge of. 

 _There’s something in this liquor_  

Soonyoung moves and Chan follows, and once again, they seem to be one being, one body, their actions perfectly matched and something flares inside Soonyoung. 

_The air is getting thicker_

Breathing becomes a difficulty for Soonyoung; he’s dancing harder now, as if the guilt and confusion can be driven away by the motions he’s making with his body.

_All I want is you_

Soonyoung goes one way, and Chan follows, and they continue, on and on and on, until there’s nothing left of their dance, until both of them are out of breath, until Soonyoung realizes with a start that they’ve ended up facing each other, in the same position they were in the other day.

Soonyoung wants to try again, wants to see if anything’s changed within those twenty-four hours.

But he can’t. 

Because Chan’s doing it for him. 

Soonyoung feels the warmth of Chan’s hand on his neck, feels Chan’s lips press against his own, and suddenly Soonyoung is catapulted into a dizzying pit of elation, surprise, and relief.

Chan pulls back, and Soonyoung can see every detail of Chan’s face up close: the shadows Chan’s eyelashes cast on his cheekbones, the little beauty marks on his cheek, scattered like little stars, and finally, his lips: pink and parted and waiting to be kissed again.

Soonyoung moves forward, puts more force into the kiss, and it’s like they’re dancing again. Chan pulls back, and Soonyoung follows, Soonyoung grabs at Chan’s waist to hold him in place, and Chan tugs at the sleeves of Soonyoung’s sweatshirt. They move, following each other, until they’re a tangle of limbs and mingling breath. Soonyoung pushes, and Chan pulls, until Soonyoung can’t push any further, because Chan’s backed up against the mirror, and Soonyoung wants to keep him there, keep him close, keep him his. 

They look at each other and Soonyoung wants to say something, but he feels too lightheaded to come up with anything, so he waits for Chan to do it instead. 

But the words never come, because suddenly, Chan is pushing past him, head hung low and his face hidden as he reaches for his backpack. 

And just like that, Chan runs away from Soonyoung. Again.

 

~

 

“Did you, like, make out?” 

“I think? Yeah, you could pretty much classify that as making out.” Soonyoung pinches the bridge of his nose, his cellphone pressed against his ear. Soonyoung just finished explaining to Seungkwan about what happened in the dance studio, and to his surprise, Seungkwan seems to be genuinely interested. 

“And he just ran away?” Seungkwan asks. Soonyoung can already picture the look on Seungkwan’s face as he says this: eyebrows raised and lips formed in a small ‘o’. In other words, it’s Seungkwan’s trademark gossip face. 

“Yep,”

“And he kissed you first?”

“Yep.” 

“Huh.” 

Soonyoung sighs. “I know.” 

“I hope this isn’t one of those unspoken attraction tropes that you see in the movies. Like, when the two main characters act all couple-y and stuff, but they aren’t _actually_ a couple, and then one of them snaps and the other one’s like ‘Oh, hey, maybe we _should_ start going out for real.’.” Seungkwan rattles on from the other end. “I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s a little too emotionally scarring for two high school students, in my opinion.” 

“Yeah,” is all Soonyoung could say. 

“Well, I don’t really know how to help you,” Seungkwan admits. “But, if anything else happens, you let me know. I just hope that there’s an indie novel around here that just so happens to match your situation perfectly, so I don’t have to give you all the advice myself.” 

Soonyoung snickers. “Alright, will do.” 

“Bye, Soonyoung.”

“Bye.” 

Seungkwan hangs up, and Soonyoung can only stare at the ceiling, the feeling of Chan’s lips still faint against his own.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Where’s Chan?” 

It’s a simple enough question, totally relevant, yet Soonyoung can’t help but feel like the rest of the group can see right through him, can sense the slightest rise of panic in his chest, and even worse, he feels as if they know what happened yesterday inside this very dance room. Soonyoung feels like a huge projector is hanging above his head, showing everything that’s on Soonyoung’s mind, and right now, it’s the image of Chan kissing him. 

“We don’t know.” Junhui answers right away.

“We thought maybe he was with you.” Hansol shrugs as he shoves his hands in his pocket.

“Has he at least texted you?” Minghao asks.

“No,” Soonyoung says dumbly.

“Maybe he’s just late.”

Soonyoung shakes his head. “He’s never late for practice.”

“Maybe something came up,” Hansol offers. “I’m sure he’s fine.”

Minghao nods. “He practically knows the choreography by heart now. I’m sure one day wouldn’t be too much." 

Soonyoung finds himself agreeing, but he can’t stop the notion that rises in his mind that maybe Chan’s not here because of him. He knows it’s stupid, because Chan would never let something as petty as that come between him and his dancing, but the thought still weighs heavy in Soonyoung’s mind.

Soonyoung shakes his head. He can’t afford to think like that. Not now.

“Alright.” Soonyoung sighs. “Let’s start, then.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The weekend flies by faster than Soonyoung expected, and all of a sudden, it’s Monday again. 

Soonyoung walks through the halls, feeling antsier than he’s ever been in his life. He climbs the staircase that leads to the sophomore classrooms, and in that moment, he feels his heart rate pick up.

Seokmin told him he was overreacting and that Soonyoung didn’t really need to go looking for Chan. Even _if_ they’ve sucked faces 

Well, fuck Seokmin.

Soonyoung looks around, trying to spot Chan in a sea of sophomore faces. He runs down the hall, and by now, he thinks that maybe Seokmin might be right, that maybe he’s being a little too desperate about this. That is, until he sees Chan, and for a moment, he’s thrilled.

Then he sees the crutches. Then the bandages wrapped around Chan’s leg, and suddenly Soonyoung’s panicking. He looks up to see if it really _is_ Chan, and his fears are confirmed when he sees the younger one looking back at him, a look of horror on his face. 

“Chan.” Soonyoung runs over to where Chan is standing, and the latter just hangs his head low.

“Chan,” Soonyoung says again. “What is this? Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“I didn’t want to.” 

“But, Chan—“ 

“Not now, okay, hyung?” Chan meets Soonyoung’s eyes and Soonyoung is taken aback at how angry Chan looks. 

Chan adjusts himself on his crutches, and it’s clear that he’s about to leave.

“I guess you’ll have to do the spring festival without me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my choices in chapter titles are so random lmaoooo
> 
> ooohhh ~cliffhanger~ 
> 
> but seriously tho, i did not intend this to be _this_ heavy. remember when i said minimal angst? yeah i don't trust myself, either.


	3. dancing for two.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Don't talk to Chan,_ they said. _It's useless,_ they said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had a minor encounter with writer's block while working on this. no worries, though, all is well. although, i do apologize if this chapter seems a bit off. idk what's happening to me :(
> 
> no dancing in this chapter, sorry.
> 
> also this is quite dialogue-heavy (and some of it might be pointless but, eh, it's 2:30 am and i couldn't care less at this point)

“What do you _mean_ without you?” Soonyoung stands directly in front of Chan, effectively blocking the younger one’s way. “Chan, talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Chan snaps as he frowns up at Soonyoung. “I’m injured and there’s no way I can heal in time for the spring festival.” 

Soonyoung doesn’t understand why Chan’s being so hostile towards him. It’s not as if Soonyoung’s going to kick him off the team just because he’s injured. 

“Will you at least tell me what happened?” Soonyoung treads on carefully, trying his best to keep his voice calm, afraid that Chan might blow up at the slightest misstep, like some ticking time-bomb. 

“I fell.” 

“And?” 

Chan sighs in exasperation. “God, hyung, do I have to elaborate on how I tripped over my own two feet?” 

Soonyoung doesn’t miss the irritated look in Chan’s eyes as the younger lets these words out. A few people overhear them, and heads start turning their way, but Soonyoung ignores the curious looks. He’s too worried, too confused, to think about anything else other than Chan right now. 

Chan huffs impatiently before he once more maneuvers himself around Soonyoung. “I’m late for class.” 

“Chan—“ 

Soonyoung doesn’t have the time to get another word out, because despite the crutches, Chan moves at a surprising speed, and for a moment, Soonyoung’s convinced that Chan’s really late for class, but then he realizes the next period doesn’t start for another five minutes. Soonyoung concludes that maybe Chan _really_ doesn’t want to see him right now. 

Either way, Soonyoung’s left alone in the middle of a dispersing sophomore crowd, a weird, heavy feeling settling at the pit of his stomach.

 

~

 

“I told you it wouldn’t go well. You never listen to me.” Seokmin shakes his head at Soonyoung as he stabs away at his food.

“For your information, he’s not mad at me. He’s probably like that because he’s injured.” Soonyoung shoots back.

“Bro, he practically told you to fuck off,” Seokmin says incredulously. 

Soonyoung just grunts in reply, rubbing the tips of his fingers over his temples, trying to soothe the pain that’s already building up in his head. 

Seungkwan reaches over to pat Soonyoung on the back. “He’s a hormonal teenager, just like any of us in here. He’ll get over it.”

“I just don’t want things to be weird between us.” Soonyoung sighs, taking a miniscule bite out of his food.

Seokmin looks Soonyoung straight in the eye. “You made it weird the moment you tried to kiss him.”

“I apologized!” Soonyoung says defensively.

“Then he kissed you right after you apologized—“ Seungkwan snickers.

“—then you made out,” Seokmin continues. 

Soonyoung groans, letting his head drop to the table, the cool plastic coming in contact with his forehead.

Soonyoung huffs. “I guess things were already weird from the very start.”

 

~

 

“Is it true?” 

Soonyoung takes a step back as Minghao comes bounding towards him, his slender fingers gripping at Soonyoung’s arm.

“Is what true?” Soonyoung eyes Hansol and Junhui, who were currently seated on the floor, their expressions grim. In an instant, Soonyoung makes the connection. He turns back to Minghao, sighing.

“That Chan’s out of commission?” Minghao’s hold on his arm tightens then. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Minghao makes a sound between a gasp and a groan, and Soonyoung wants to say, ‘ _I know right? And he’s being a total bitch about it, too._ ’, but he stops himself before he could.

Soonyoung turns to Hansol. “Did you tell them?” 

“Yeah. Chan’s in my English class, and the moment I saw him walk in with those crutches, I knew he wouldn’t make it for the spring festival.” Hansol lets out a low whistle. “His bandages looked pretty heavy-duty.”

“Was he being an asshole to you, too?” Soonyoung raises an eyebrow, a humorless smirk playing at his lips.

“Injuring yourself a week before a performance? I would’ve been surprised if he wasn’t.” Hansol admits. “Although, you’d think he’d be used to it by now. Just last year, he sprained his wrist and dislocated his shoulder in the same month. I don’t know what’s so different this time.” 

“Maybe it’s because he can’t perform?” Junhui offers. 

“Yeah, but, it’s not as if this is his last spring festival,” Hansol points out. Soonyoung finds himself agreeing. 

“Well, whatever it is, we can’t deal with it right now. If Chan’s accepted that he can’t perform with us, we should, too.” Soonyoung looks at the faces of his remaining three members. “Come on, if we’re gonna do this with just the four of us, we need to adjust our blockings by a shitton.”

 

~

 

“Hey, Hansol? Do you mind if I ask you about something?”

They’ve just finished practice, and Soonyoung’s been itching to have a little talk with Chan’s fellow sophomore. A crazy idea just presented itself to Soonyoung out of nowhere, and he’s more than eager to put it into action.

“Sure, what is it, hyung?” Hansol tilts his head to the side, waiting for Soonyoung to answer. Soonyoung chews at his bottom lip, trying to formulate the question in his mind. 

“Do you, by any chance, know where Chan lives?” 

Hansol quirks an eyebrow. “Yeah, I do. Why?”

“I just—,“Soonyoung avoids Hansol’s gaze. “I need to talk to Chan.”

Hansol still doesn’t look convinced enough. “You know he’ll be okay, right? You don’t need to give him daily pep talks. We have a guidance counselor for that.”

Soonyoung closes his eyes, sighing. Why does it seem like everyone’s trying to stop him from talking to Chan? 

“I know. I just really need to talk to him.” Soonyoung hopes he doesn’t sound too desperate. “Please.” 

Hansol regards him for another moment before finally nodding. “Alright. I understand.”

 _Thank fuck,_ Soonyoung thinks.

“Thanks, Hansol.” Soonyoung holds his fist out. Hansol brings his own hand up and bumps it against Soonyoung’s.

“Treat me to some lunch, then we’ll call it even. 

~

 

Turns out, Chan doesn’t live that far from campus. All Soonyoung has to do is get to the other side of the hill near their school, then make a few turns, and there you have it—Chan’s neighborhood. It’s a quiet, suburban place that looks like something straight out of an anime and Soonyoung can’t say he doesn’t like it. Soonyoung repeats Chan’s house number in his head as he walks down the street, his eyes scanning the different metal plates branding the different other house numbers.

_23, 24, 25, 26—ah, 27._

Soonyoung stands in front of a two-story house, its walls a fading blue, the same shade as the sky right before sunset. Soonyoung checks the number again, making sure he’s got the right one, before he makes his way up the driveway. Soonyoung’s heart is pounding, but he dismisses it as a result of the long walk (and definitely not because he’s nervous). 

Soonyoung reaches the front door, and suddenly, he doesn’t know what to do. He spots a small piece of wood right under to the doorbell, with the word ‘Lee’ carved into it in thin lettering. Soonyoung’s doesn’t know whether he should be relieved or terrified that he’s found the right place. He checks his watch and sees that it’s five-thirty in the afternoon. Surely, Chan’s already home, doing his homework, or watching TV, or whatever he does when he gets home from school. 

Soonyoung takes a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. He hears the electronic sound of it spread through the house, before being followed by a complete silence. For a moment, Soonyoung starts to panic, realizing that he didn’t really think this through. What if Chan’s parents are home? What if one of them answers the door? What does he say to them? Should he lie? Should he just tell them that he needs to talk to Chan? 

Soonyoung’s so deeply flustered that he doesn’t notice the door swinging open, doesn’t notice the surprised look on Chan’s face as he peeks through the crack between the doorjamb and the door itself. 

“Hyung?”

Soonyoung’s head snaps up, and his eyes immediately lock on Chan’s. 

“Hi.”

Chan’s eyebrows furrow together, as if he just remembered that he’s supposed to be angry at Soonyoung. “What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you.” Soonyoung fidgets with the sleeves of his sweatshirt, his fingers playing with the material.

“Of course you do,” Chan mutters under his breath. He sighs before stepping back and opening the door a little wider so Soonyoung can come in. 

Soonyoung gingerly steps over the threshold, and he’s immediately greeted with warmth, and not just the kind you feel on your skin. The living room’s cozy, a large couch placed right at the center of the room, complete with cushions and little pillows. There are pictures on the wall, of Chan and his family; his parents, his siblings, his grandparents, and numerous other relatives. Soonyoung takes it all in and notices how lived-in the whole place looks like. All this made Soonyoung feel at home, even though this was his first time to visit.

“We should sit.” Chan’s voice breaks Soonyoung out of his reverie, and Soonyoung finds himself walking over to the couch. He takes a seat and watches Chan do the same, struggling with his leg and his crutches in the process. 

“Where are your, uh, brothers?” Soonyoung tries to make small talk, try to lift the tension in the air a bit, but the way Chan avoids his eyes makes Soonyoung realize that it’s not working.

“Upstairs. They don’t come down till dinner.” 

“Your parents?”

“At work. They’re usually back by nine, though.” 

Soonyoung nods, toying with a loose piece of thread from the couch. His eyes travel from Chan’s face and down to his injured leg. Soonyoung sighs.

“Will you tell me what happened?” Soonyoung asks. “With your leg, I mean.” 

It takes a moment before Chan finally looks up at him, his expression somewhat sad, rather than angry. 

“I didn’t lie, you know. I really did fall. Last Friday, after practice.” Chan lets out a small chuckle. “You know that hill that separates the school and my neighborhood?” 

Soonyoung nods again. “Yeah. I almost ran out of breath climbing over it.” 

“That’s where I fell. I was running down the hill, then the next thing I know, I’m losing my balance. It sucked having to wobble over to a random house to ask for help. They thought I was trying to scam them.”

Soonyoung couldn’t help but laugh. He was about to stop himself but then he saw the corners of Chan’s lips turn up. 

“That’s tough,” Soonyoung comments, still giggling. Chan lets himself laugh along, and Soonyoung thinks that maybe things are back to the way they used to be. 

However, Chan’s expression turns serious again. “But, that’s not all, you know. Do you know why I was running?” 

Soonyoung blinks, shaking his head. 

“I was running because I was happy. Giddy, even.” Chan bites his lip, and the way he’s looking at Soonyoung makes Soonyoung’s heart leap into his throat. 

“Kissing you…it felt good. It felt _right_. I was confused, that’s why I left, but the moment I was alone, I realized how much I liked it.” 

Chan continued on. “After I almost broke my ankle in half, I started to think I was stupid for letting myself get injured like that just because I was too busy daydreaming about a kiss. That’s why I was mad. I was mad at you. Mad because you made me feel things I’ve never felt before.” Chan pauses. “I hate you, hyung, I really do.” 

Soonyoung thinks Chan’s being serious, but when he studies the younger one’s face, there isn’t a single trace of anger in his features. 

“Wow,” Soonyoung begins. “Injuring yourself because you were too busy thinking about someone else…that’s a whole new level of whipped right there.”

Chan reaches over to smack Soonyoung on the chest. “You’re an asshole.” 

“Yeah, but you like me.” Soonyoung moves closer to Chan, a mischievous glint in his eye. “You like me, Lee Chan. Don’t lie.”

Soonyoung sees Chan swallow, his Adam’s apple moving right under his skin. 

“I wouldn’t have kissed you if I didn’t. I told you, it’s only the matter of _how much_ I like you.” 

“How much _do_ you like me?” Soonyoung’s knee knocks against Chan’s uninjured leg. They’re facing each other, and once again, they find themselves in close proximity. 

“A lot,” Chan says, and it’s enough for Soonyoung. Enough for him to lean forward and press his lips against Chan’s, enough for him to bring a hand up to the back of Chan’s neck, his fingers digging into his nape. It’s enough for Soonyoung to let his jaw slacken so Chan’s tongue can glide in just the slightest bit. It’s enough. It’s enough. It’s more than enough. 

They pull away a moment later, breathing just a little bit heavier than a few minutes ago. 

“Please, don’t be mad at me. It’s not my fault that my good looks are distracting.” Soonyoung teases as he leans his forehead against Chan’s. 

Chan punches him in the arm. “Stop it.” 

“But, really, it’s my fault.” Chan sighs, pulling back. “I should’ve been more careful.” 

Soonyoung brings a hand up to Chan’s face, his thumb momentarily grazing Chan’s cheek. “Hey, it’s okay. You’ll heal.” 

“I still want to perform with you, though.” Chan’s voice is heavy with sadness and Soonyoung hates it. He hates it when Chan is anything else but happy.

“Don’t worry, I’ll perform for the both of us.”

Chan’s face breaks out into a smile. “You’re the best, hyung.” 

Soonyoung playfully pats Chan’s cheeks. “I know.”

~

 

“Soonyoung, aren’t you going to bed?” Mrs. Kwon leans against the doorframe, her worried eyes trained at Soonyoung’s hunched over figure. 

“In a little bit. I just really need to brainstorm for this solo performance I’m doing.” 

Mrs. Kwon perks up a bit after hearing this. “A solo? That’s great, honey.”

Soonyoung smiles up at his mother. 

“So is the person I’m dedicating it to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is the last, hyfr let's go gillian!!!!!!!!!


	4. in and out of life.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You know I love you, right?"
> 
> "Already?"
> 
> "Already."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up, this one's longer than the previous chapters!!
> 
> i literally spent 12 hours working on this and idk if all those 12 hours were worth it hnghgngn
> 
> so, yes, motions has reached its last chapter. thank you guys for patiently waiting for updates and i hope you enjoy this last one!

“So, you’re together now?” Seungkwan quirks an eyebrow at Soonyoung.

“Ah, well—“ Soonyoung stops picking at his food. “We haven’t talked about that, yet.” 

“I don’t know. They seem pretty together to me. I mean, come on, they’ve made out, like, two times already. And I bet they even got a little hot n’ heavy when they were in Chan’s living room.” Seokmin interjects, sending Soonyoung a look. “You did, didn’t you?” 

Soonyoung almost chokes on his food when he hears the words ‘hot n’ heavy’. His entire face heats up and he can feel himself sweating as he tries to swallow. 

“Define ‘hot n’ heavy’.” 

Seokmin giggles like a classic creep. “You know, with all the touching and groping.” 

Soonyoung thinks back to the other night. They _did_ kiss for a little while longer, but Soonyoung’s hands never went beyond Chan’s waist. Not that Soonyoung wanted to go any lower, anyway. 

“Maybe,” Soonyoung answers curtly. Seokmin hollers and Seungkwan makes a gagging noise at the back of his throat.

“I’m dreading the day his leg heals.” Seungkwan shudders dramatically. “In the future, do us a favor and spare us the details, okay?”

“You guys are gross,” Soonyoung complains. “It’s not like that. It won’t be for another five years, at least.”

“ _Five_ years? And you say I’m the dramatic one,” Seungkwan accuses as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Soonyoung rolls his eyes. “Can we not talk about this?” 

“Okay, okay, fine. Geez, since when are you such a grump?” Seokmin says, holding his hands out in front of him, as if trying to calm Soonyoung down. 

“I am _not_.” 

“So, the spring festival,” Seungkwan cuts in, finally shifting the subject away from Soonyoung’s love life. “How’s your routine coming along?” 

“Good. We’re pretty much done with everything.” Soonyoung grins. “How about you? What are the two of you singing?” 

Seokmin and Seungkwan share a look before turning back to Soonyoung. “It’s a secret,” they blurt out at the same time. 

Soonyoung backs up in his seat, a hand on his chest. “Woah, okay. How come you never told me you guys were dating?” 

Seungkwan’s face immediately contorts into a grimace and Seokmin looks just about ready to bolt out of his seat. 

“Very funny, Soonyoung,” Seungkwan says without the slightest bit of humor. 

Soonyoung practically cackles at the looks on his friends’ faces. 

“Doesn’t feel good when you’re the one being asked, does it?” 

 

~

  

“Hyung!” 

Soonyoung whips around, his face immediately breaking out into a megawatt smile when he sees Chan coming towards him from down the hall. 

“Chan!” Soonyoung calls back, walking briskly over to Chan. “Hey, slow down. Don’t tire yourself out.” 

Chan shakes his head. “I’m fine, hyung. I’m healing way faster than you’d think.” 

“That’s great!” Soonyoung beams down at Chan. “What are you doing here, though? Shouldn’t you be on your way home?” 

“You have practice today, right? I just wanted to tag along and watch. And besides, I miss the dance room.” Chan explains as Soonyoung falls into step with him. 

“You could’ve just went straight to the dance room, you know.” Soonyoung tilts his head pointedly at Chan.

“I wanted to see you,” Chan replies. 

“You would’ve seen me in there, anyway.”

“I couldn’t wait.”

“You know,” Soonyoung begins. “If you’re gonna keep saying stuff like that, people are gonna think you have the upper hand in this relationship.” 

“Don’t I?” Chan asks, feigning confusion. “I mean, if I’m the one making you blush…” 

Soonyoung trips over his words. “I _do not_ blush. And most definitely not because of you.”

“You know, it’s a little too late to be denying all of this, hyung.” Chan continues to poke fun at Soonyoung and Soonyoung just wants to melt into the ground. 

The two of them arrive at the dance room sooner than expected, and Soonyoung pouts at Chan as he opens the door. 

“How and when did you become so flirty?” 

Chan flashes him a smile, causing his eyes to disappear and his little dimple to pop out on his cheek. “I’ve always been flirty, hyung. It’s part of my charm.”

Soonyoung steps inside the dance room, Chan trailing just behind him as music immediately greets his ears. Soonyoung sees that his members have already started warming up without him, but they soon stop when they see Chan standing in the doorway. 

“Channie!” Minghao cries out, walking up to Chan and clapping him on the shoulder. Junhui and Hansol follow, crowding around Chan like parents fawning over their child. 

“What happened?” 

“How long is it gonna take to heal?”

“You look way better than you did last week.”

Chan smiles at the three of them, and Soonyoung can tell that Chan doesn’t just miss the dance room; he also misses the people that are always in it. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Chan assures Junhui and Minghao. “Oh, and thanks Hansol. Also, sorry for completely ignoring you during English last Friday.” 

Hansol nods. “It’s cool.” He eyes Soonyoung knowingly. “I’m betting everything’s okay now?” 

Chan follows Hansol’s eyes and immediately looks down in embarrassment. “Yeah, don’t worry.” 

“You’re still attending the spring festival this Saturday, right? You’ll watch us?” Minghao’s tone is hopeful, his arm still protectively slung around Chan’s shoulders. 

“Of course I am. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

Junhui whoops and Hansol claps. Soonyoung watches all of this unfold in front of him, and he’s suddenly filled with a new kind of motivation. He wants him and his team to work even harder, for their sake and for Chan’s. He wants to dance hard enough for all five of them. Soonyoung wants it, and he’s going to make it happen. 

“Okay, okay, let Chan breathe for a second.” Soonyoung shoos the three other members away, and they step back to give Chan some space. Soonyoung pulls up a chair from the corner of the room and pats the seat, signaling for Chan to sit down.

“Come on, we’ll show you what we’ve come up with.” 

Chan moves towards the chair and plops down, his excitement already evident on his face. Soonyoung plugs his phone in and starts the music up. He ducks down for a second to give Chan a kiss on the cheek, ignoring the snickers from the other three, before running over to his formation. 

Hansol laughs and reaches over to hit Soonyoung on the arm. “Finally, huh?” 

Soonyoung nods, smiling down. “Yeah, finally.” 

The music reaches the dance’s starting point and the four of them move, perfectly rehearsed and precise. Soonyoung’s body seems to go into autopilot mode, his focus completely on the task at hand. But nearly a minute into the first song, and his gaze shifts away from the mirror in front of him, landing instead on Chan, who sitting at the very back of the room.

Soonyoung can see the wonder on Chan’s face and he feels a twinge of sadness as he wishes for Chan to be dancing right next to him, instead of sitting there injured and unable to move like he used to. 

Soonyoung looks back at his reflection as the music draws to a close, sweat already dripping down the sides of his face. The routine comes to an end, and all four of them straighten out, chests heaving as they try to catch their breath. Chan brings his hands together in applause, clapping like a little kid after watching a magic show. 

“That was great, you guys. Like, I don’t even know what to say. How did you even manage to fix the blockings and transitions _that_ fast?” Chan looks genuinely amazed and Soonyoung can’t help the swell of pride that blooms inside him. 

“You’re too nice, Chan.” Soonyoung laughs, walking over to ruffle Chan’s hair as he pauses the music.

“No, really, I mean it.” Chan smiles, automatically leaning into Soonyoung’s touch. “I just wish I could be a part of it, though.” 

The room turns quiet for a second as Chan’s words register into their minds.

“It’s okay, you’ll get to perform again next year,” Soonyoung says gently, pinching Chan’s cheek for a brief second. 

“But you and Junhui-hyung are graduating this year.” It’s Chan’s turn to pout, and Soonyoung can’t decide whether he wants to squish Chan’s face in his hands because of how cute he is or pull him into a hug because he’s bringing all of this sad stuff up.

“Come on, Chan. We all know you’ll miss Soonyoung the most and you’re gonna forget all about me.” Junhui chuckles, Hansol and Minghao laughing along beside him.

Chan’s face turns red and he immediately shakes his head. “That’s not true. You’re both important to me.” 

“It’s okay, Channie, we get it. Don’t be so embarrassed.” Soonyoung’s laughing, too, fingers messing with Chan’s hair for the second time. Soonyoung replays the mix before walking back to the center of the room. 

The rest of practice flies by quickly, but Soonyoung’s happy, and it seems like everyone else is, too, because Chan is there, and although he isn’t dancing, it’s good to have his old, cheerful persona present inside the room. 

“It’s a good thing that you decided to drop by today,” Soonyoung declares after everyone has left and it’s only him and Chan in the room. “They missed you, too, you know.” 

“I never thought of it that way,” Chan wonders out loud. “But, I guess you’re right.” 

Soonyoung walks over to stand in front of Chan, and as he looks down, he can see every detail of Chan’s face. Chan’s eyes peer up at him, and his lips are parted in a perfect pout that has Soonyoung’s heart suddenly racing. Without giving it much thought, Soonyoung reaches for Chan’s hands. Soonyoung positions Chan’s arms so they’re wrapped around his neck, and Soonyoung doesn’t even have to say anything to Chan because the younger one gets it. Chan pulls himself up at the same time Soonyoung lifts him off the chair, making it easier for Soonyoung to carry him. 

Soonyoung turns around and sits on the chair, Chan’s legs on either side of him. Chan shifts on Soonyoung’s lap so he’s comfortably straddling the latter. Soonyoung reaches up to run his hands through Chan’s hair. 

“You know I love you, right?” Soonyoung whispers, moving just a tiny bit closer to Chan. 

“Already?” Chan raises an eyebrow, but the corners of his lips are turned up.

Soonyoung nods. “Already.” 

Soonyoung closes the gap between them, and Chan responds eagerly, lips slotting perfectly against Soonyoung’s. Soonyoung thinks he’ll never get used to the feeling of Chan’s lips, because every time it’s different, there’s always something new with the way Chan kisses, and it nearly drives Soonyoung crazy. 

Chan pushes his tongue past Soonyoung’s lips and Soonyoung accepts it wholeheartedly, letting their bodies press even closer together. That’s another thing Soonyoung noticed about Chan: he’s eager with his tongue, and Soonyoung’s reduced to a mess every time he lets Chan map out the expanse of his mouth. It just feels so _wrong_ because a 17-year-old shouldn’t be allowed to kiss that way. It’s just plain sinful.

Soonyoung pulls away, meaning to tell Chan something, but his voice is caught in his throat when he feels Chan move down to press kisses onto his neck. Soonyoung lets his head fall back against the chair’s backrest, letting Chan do as he pleases. 

“Chan,” Soonyoung breathes out after a moment. Chan hums out a ‘Hm?’ into Soonyoung’s neck and the vibrations paired with Chan’s breath hitting his skin nearly causes Soonyoung to pass out. 

“I have a surprise for you.”

Chan detaches his lips from Soonyoung’s neck, curiosity spreading along his features. “Really?” 

“Yeah.” Soonyoung’s heart is still hammering against his chest, but he wills himself to calm down. “You’ll see it on Saturday during the festival.” 

Chan tilts his head to the side, eyebrows furrowed together. Not even a second later, his face lights up in realization. 

“Could it be…a special performance? Just for me?” 

Soonyoung groans. “You’re too good at this.” 

“It’s so obvious!” Chan’s laughs, his fingers playing with the strands of hair near the back of Soonyoung’s neck. 

“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter.” Soonyoung shakes his head. “You’ll still be blown away with my performance.”

Chan bites his lip to suppress his smile. 

“I’m blown away by the mere thought of you, hyung.”

 

* * *

 

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?” 

“A little,” Soonyoung admits, adjusting his phone against his ear. “But knowing that you’ll be there to watch makes it a tiny bit better.” 

“I’ll be there at the very front, cheering you on.” Soonyoung can hear Chan smiling as he says this.

“You’re the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, did you know that?” Soonyoung can feel something gripping at his chest, something close to giddiness, and he has to slap a hand over his mouth to keep himself from giggling out loud. 

Chan laughs, all bright and cheery, before the line suddenly goes quiet. Soonyoung waits for Chan to say something, but all Soonyoung could hear is the faint sound of the younger boy’s breathing.

“Chan? Are you there?” Soonyoung asks after a moment.

“Yeah,” was Chan’s curt reply. His voice seemed to have become quieter, and Soonyoung thinks he must’ve said something wrong.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Chan repeats. “It’s just…you called me your boyfriend.” 

Soonyoung smiles at that. “Well, _aren’t_ you my boyfriend?” 

“I guess I am.” Chan says it like he still doesn’t believe it.

Both of them are silent again after that. Soonyoung listens to Chan breathe and it almost feels like Chan’s lying right next to him. The thought makes his heart leap in his chest. 

“Hyung, you should sleep,” Chan says all of a sudden. “You need to rest.” 

Soonyoung nods absentmindedly before he realizes Chan can’t see him. “Okay.” 

“Good night, hyung.”

“Good night, Chan.” Soonyoung says with all the affection he can muster up. Soonyoung’s about to end the call when Chan suddenly speaks up.

“Hyung, wait!” Chan speaks in a rush and Soonyoung moves his phone back to his ear.

“I never got the chance to say ‘I love you’ back. You know, after you told me you loved me the other day. So, yeah. I love you, too, hyung. A lot.”

Soonyoung sighs and he feels every cell in his body light up with happiness. 

“You’re heaven-sent, Lee Chan. You truly are.”

 

* * *

 

“Do you see him? Where is he? Is he in front?" 

Soonyoung’s fiddling with the cuffs of his leather jacket as he cranes his neck to see the audience seated in front of the stage. It’s sunny; the perfect weather for an outdoor spring festival, and everyone seems to be relaxed and happy; all except for Soonyoung.

 “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this nervous before.” Junhui says from beside him, hands shoved inside his pockets and an obviously amused look on his face. 

“I’m not nervous,” Soonyoung argues. “It’s just really weird to have Chan watch me dance, like, as an actual audience member.” 

“We’ll do great, especially you, hyung.” Hansol claps Soonyoung on the back. 

“Yeah!” Minghao agrees. “I can’t wait for Chan to see your solo stage.” 

Soonyoung wants to bury himself in the ground out of embarrassment. 

“Oh, yeah. I almost forgot about that,” Soonyoung mutters. 

“Wait, I think I see him.” Junhui taps Soonyoung’s shoulder repeatedly to get his attention. “Chan’s sitting at the very front. Next to the lady in the red dress.” 

Soonyoung walks over to where Junhui’s standing, and sure enough, he spots Chan seated at the front row. His crutches are propped up beside him, and with the way Chan’s looking around, Soonyoung can’t help but compare him to an extremely cute puppy waiting for its owner. 

“Wait,” Junhui says. “Isn’t the lady in red your mom?” 

Soonyoung nearly chokes on air as he realizes that, _yes_ , the lady in red sitting right next to Chan _is_ his mom. If Soonyoung wasn’t nervous a few minutes ago, then he definitely is now. 

“Aw, look. Your mom seems to be asking Chan about his leg.” Minghao peeks from behind Junhui.

Hansol bursts out laughing. “At least you don’t have to worry about introducing him to your mom, anymore.” 

Soonyoung’s about to reach over to smack Hansol in the chest, when the emcee’s voice suddenly catches their attention. 

“So, our next performers are none other than our very own students!” The emcee cheerfully says into the microphone. “And today, they’re going to show us a little bit of their dancing skills.” Soonyoung wipes his hands on his pants as he scrambles over to the stairs leading onto the stage. 

“Let’s give a warm round of applause for Kwon Soonyoung, Wen Junhui, Xu Minghao, and Chwe Hansol!” 

All four of them are met with thunderous applause and a few hollers as they take their positions onstage. Soonyoung sneaks a glance over at Chan, and sure enough, the sophomore’s eyes are glued on him. 

The music starts and once again, it overtakes Soonyoung’s body. Even after countless of performances, Soonyoung can never get over the thrill that comes with dancing in front of so many people. Soonyoung moves through the steps mindlessly, but at the same time his focus is unmatched. All he knows is that he’s dancing, and he wants to keep dancing, wants to move until his limbs ache and his lungs scream out for air.

Their performance consists of only three songs, and before Soonyoung knows it, they’re nearing the end of their third song, and Soonyoung catches a glimpse of Chan in the audience. 

He’s smiling, smiling so wide, Soonyoung notes in his head how it’s almost blinding. He’s never seen Chan this happy before, and it almost brings Soonyoung to tears when he realizes Chan’s smiling at _him_. 

The music stops and the performance ends, Soonyoung’s body is formed into his last position. He’s kneeling, head held high and he can see everything clearly: the audience, clapping excitedly and cheering for them, his mom, giving him a standing ovation, the widest grin spread along her lips, and Chan, who seems to be clapping with everything he’s got. Soonyoung’s filled with so much joy, but he knows he’s not done yet.

The other three walk off the stage, nodding at Soonyoung and mouthing ‘good luck’. Soonyoung straightens himself out before standing at the center, looking Chan in the eye and sending a wink his way. 

It’s silent for a few moments and Soonyoung uses this time to catch his breath.

‘ _This is for you, Chan._ ’

The music plays and Soonyoung doesn’t miss the look of recognition followed by the pure happiness that takes over Chan’s face. Soonyoung knows this song is dear to Chan, and that’s the reason why he chose it.

_Baby, love never felt so good_

_And I doubt if it ever could_

_Not like you hold me, hold me_  

Soonyoung grooves along to the music, letting himself enjoy the moment of being on stage. He keeps his eyes on Chan, and Chan looks back, and Soonyoung can feel the admiration all the way from the stage. 

_Oh baby, love never felt so fine_

_And I doubt if it’s ever mine_

_Not like you hold me, hold me_

The song builds up and Soonyoung anticipates the chorus. He’s laying it all out in the open: the initial frustration of liking Chan, the giddiness that came along with the first kiss, and the pure bliss that Soonyoung feels every time he’s with Chan. All of this is being translated into his dance: the dance inspired by none other than Lee Chan. 

_And the night is gonna be just fine_

_Gotta fly, gotta see, can’t believe_

_I can’t take it_

Soonyoung laughs. He laughs in the middle of the stage, in the middle of his routine, because it’s the only thing he can do at a time like this. With the overwhelming glee rushing through his veins, he doesn’t really know what else to do. So, he laughs. 

What he doesn’t notice is that Chan is silently laughing along with him.

 

~

 

“You were great!” 

“Hyung, you looked so happy!” 

“Chan really has you whipped, huh?” 

Soonyoung runs off stage, his hair slick with sweat and clinging to his forehead. Minghao hands him a towel and he takes it gratefully, wiping his face with it. 

“Soonyoung!” A voice suddenly calls out. 

Soonyoung turns around to see Seungkwan and Seokmin’s smiling faces. 

“You were _amazing_ ,” Seungkwan gushes, clapping his hands together. 

“As always.” Seokmin nudges Soonyoung in the arm and Soonyoung just bows his head as a form of thanks.

“Are you guys up next?” Soonyoung eyes the microphones in his friends’ hands. Seungkwan and Seokmin nod.

“Well, then.” Soonyoung grins. “Good luck!” 

The two of them give Soonyoung brief hugs before climbing onto the stage ( _‘I didn’t know someone could sweat this much,’_ Seungkwan had said with a grimace. Soonyoung hugged him again just to spite him).

Soonyoung suddenly remembers Chan, and he’s about to run off towards the audience when another voice calls out.

“Soonyoung?”

“Mom?” Soonyoung rushes over but immediately stops when he sees Chan trailing along behind her.

“ _Chan_?”

Chan smiles and tries to wave, but one of his crutches almost tumbles to the ground. Mrs. Kwon backtracks a bit to make sure Chan is alright.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Kwon, don’t worry.” Chan eyes Soonyoung’s shocked expression. “But I don’t think Soonyoung-hyung is.” 

“Ah, Soonyoung-ie,” Soonyoung’s mother says affectionately, stepping forward to pull Soonyoung into a tight hug. 

“You were wonderful onstage. Chan couldn’t stop admiring you.”

Chan blushes as he looks away. “Ah, well…” 

“He told me he was supposed to perform with you, but seeing that he’s injured…” Mrs. Kwon trails off. Although, after a moment, she smiles. “Chan seems to hold you in high regard. The boy couldn’t stop complimenting you!” 

Soonyoung leans his head back, his eyes trained on the clear blue sky above. ‘ _Whoever’s listening, please give me the strength and guidance to get through this._ ’ 

Soonyoung looks back at his mother, suddenly shy and aware of how she’s looking at him with a mix of curiosity and amusement. 

“You see, mom,” Soonyoung begins, walking over to where Chan is standing. Soonyoung nods before giving Chan’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. He takes a deep breath, turning back to Mrs. Kwon. 

“Chan and I, we’re—“ 

“I know.” 

Soonyoung gives a start, as if someone just slapped him across the face. 

“You know?” 

Mr. Kwon nods, laughing. “The look in his eyes when you were performing was a dead giveaway.” 

“But—“ Soonyoung starts.” 

“It’s okay. From what I can see, the two of you are each other’s happiness. Really, Soonyoung, it’s okay.”

The two boys share a look. Soonyoung sneaks a glance at his mom, and he sees that she’s still beaming. 

“I love you,” Soonyoung suddenly blurts out as he turns back to Chan.

The smile on Chan’s face is absolutely priceless as he replies. 

“I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you thank you thank you for taking your time to read this!! 
> 
> kudos and comments are much appreciated. till next time!


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